Internal battles...
So many people know that the last couple of years have had some pretty amazingly extreme highs and lows. They also know that I've struggled with my nature, good & evil..
One of my favourite johnny cash songs is a song called "The Beast in Me":
A Cherokee Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner:
"Inside of me there are two wolves. One of the wolves is mean and evil. The
other wolf is good. The mean wolf fights the good wolf all the time." When asked which wolf wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, "The one I feed the most." (reference 1, 2)
I often struggle internally between the part of me that wants to fight, crush, kill, defend and win at any cost, with the one that wants to empower, inspire and protect. I was getting a massage today and just thinking on this.. I think we largely are in control of these forces of dark and light inside us, but like the children in the Freddy Krueger films, we forget we are free to wake up from the bad dreams..
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Dude, that was deep. But sreiously, I have been soul searching myself these past few days. I want to be able to grapple better with the arseholes in my life. My nature is, to just shut the door on them forever. But I need to be more assertive about letting them know they did some BS. So I am developing my strategy. That and a good solicitor or two...
Cheers, and Happy May.